A Birth Photographer's Home Birth Story
Following two successful natural births (one in a hospital, one at home) I was ready to attempt my third natural birth. I was still terrified, though only my husband and my doula knew this truth. After two textbook labors without any complications, I had a haunting fear that this would be the wild card. Read on to see how this nervous birth photographer (me!) went through with a third natural home birth.
With my worries hanging over me, I hired a doula for the first time–hoping and praying for the best! Otherwise everything was the same as the last home birth utilizing a birth pool and a midwife. The day before my due date, my water broke while walking around Costco shopping for diapers. This pregnancy was a surprise after our son Eli (the one still in diapers) was born just 18 months prior.
By 8 PM, I had a feeling that the baby was probably going to be here before midnight. My husband and I took The Bradley Birth Method natural birth classes (from amazing instructor Kay Gilanyi) before my first birth four years ago. We learned in this class to restfully approach labor by resting, eating and preparing for the marathon that lies ahead. So, we ate dinner sitting on the couch while we watched our favorite TV show. I updated my midwife and doula telling them I was feeling fine and no need to rush over because my contractions were still nine minutes apart.
Around 9 PM, I had a contraction that lasted almost five minutes. I remember gripping the arm of the sofa in tears, asking my husband why it wasn't stopping. I saw the fear in his eyes and I asked my doula to join us. By the time she arrived, I was in active labor sitting on the toilet with contractions coming around every five minutes.
Desperate for some warm relief from the intensifying pain–I got into the birth pool. It was now 11 PM and I couldn't keep track of my contractions anymore–that’s why my doula and husband were there! Not long after I got in the pool, my friend and birth photographer (who also photographed my maternity photos) arrived to capture our home birth. I remember hanging over the side of the birth pool, trying to maintain a grip on the pain using the techniques I had learned from The Bradley Birth Method. My doula calmly and gently reminded me to slow down my breathing, dig deep, and try to relax instead of tense.
The labor was moving faster than any of my previous births, leaving me with no time to be afraid! I lived moment to moment, surge to surge. My midwife arrived around 11:45 PM with her own sleeping 4-month old baby in tow. Mom life doesn't stop just because you deliver babies!
After throwing on her gloves, my midwife asked if I wanted to be checked to see how dilated I was. I quickly replied, “No. I know I'm ready to push. I need to push.” I remember later thinking how nice it was to be asked and be reminded that you always have a choice in your birth plan. During my next contraction, my midwife gently put her hand into the water and told us she could feel the baby's head. This was encouraging, and such a relief to not experience the additional pain of a dilation check.
At this point in the labor, I felt like I was in another space. I was in the room, but I wasn't there. I held every emotion and fear in my head. My thoughts were bouncing around like a ping pong ball in a windstorm. I was filled with hope and excitement that it could soon all be over and I would meet my baby!
I felt the urge to push, but I couldn't find the right position, so I asked my husband to get into the pool with me and sit behind me so I could hold onto his knees. He didn't love the idea, but how could he say no to his laboring wife?
Upon my next contraction, the baby's head came out, and my midwife quickly unlooped the cord that was wrapped around my daughter's neck. After this split-second action, together we brought my daughter Gracie onto my chest and I burst into tears. The birth photographer caught Gracie popping her two middle fingers into her mouth just like her 16-week ultrasound photo. I held my baby saying, “Is it really over already?” It was 12:05 AM and my midwife had only been there for 20 minutes. We all rejoiced, cried, and I laughed with joy!
Afterwards, I regained my strength on my own couch, which only hours earlier I was sitting on eating dinner and watching TV (such an amazing concept). My midwife brought my daughter, still attached to her placenta, into the kitchen area to make some space to cut the cord. My husband woke up our 4-year-old son and brought him downstairs to meet his new little sister. Caleb was not thrilled, but together they cut the cord (keep scrolling!). By 1 AM, my house was empty again. All except for my sister who slept beside me on the couch while I held my newborn baby girl in my arms.
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