Tips for Dads in Delivery Rooms: How to Support Your Wife
Reminiscing about the three births that we’ve gone through together, my husband and I realized there were some details that we couldn’t remember! It also struck us that there were so many significant moments that we both remembered, but in different ways. Having this follow-up conversation with my husband about our three natural births (one in the hospital, two from home) was just another confirmation that we had made the right choice. Deciding to have natural births was a decision we made as a team, and it’s one that neither of us regret! These are my husband’s tips for dads in delivery rooms from his own firsthand experience.
Tip #1 Take The Bradley Method Natural Birth Classes
It’s a story I’ve already told that I’m sure so many women can relate to: my husband was not on board. When I first suggested taking The Bradley Method natural birth classes to my husband, Ryan, he agreed only because I asked. But, even though this was his first hesitancy, it’s also become the first of his tips for dads in delivery rooms.I have a lot to say about why taking The Bradley Method natural birth classes is the best way to prepare for a natural birth. But, I think hearing about its importance from a dad who was very skeptical at first can be equally powerful. Ironically, I started going into labor DURING our final class! I suppose that meant we had all the information that we needed!
It wasn’t until after our first natural birth that my birth partner understood the merit of the classes. Ryan’s biggest takeaway from The Bradley Method classes was “understanding her body, and her mental state, and what she was going through so I could know how to lead her.” When the time came, he knew exactly what to do! Ryan packed the hospital bag, wrote out our birth plan(while I was laboring!), and even knew how to time the contractions.Ryan was so impressed by “how accurate the information was through Bradley.” He had the ability to make predictions for when I would deliver and he understood the labor stages that I was experiencing. The classes also prepared him for, as he calls it, when I started talking “a little cooky” saying things like: “I don’t want to do this” and “I can’t do this.” Knowing this was a normal phase that laboring women process, he felt confident in supporting me through it.
Tip #2 The Best Place for Your Natural Birth is at Home
Although most couples can get on board with natural birth being a must, it can be intimidating becoming comfortable with a home birth. My husband felt the same way at first. It took only one natural hospital birth to convince him of another one of his tips for dads in delivery rooms: do your natural birth at home.
Hear me when I say that I have NOTHING against natural birth center births or even natural hospital births. I just know from both photographing home births and having done my own twice from home that it makes all the difference in the world to be comfortable in your environment. The first thing Ryan said to me after our first natural birth in the hospital was: “Thank goodness we took Bradley,” and “Next one’s a home birth.”
During our third natural birth, I experienced a contraction that lasted about five minutes. According to Ryan, “It just didn’t end and I didn’t tell her how long it was until it was over.” He was holding me through every single minute of some of the worst pain in the world! If he had not learned how to handle this from our training, he never would have been comfortable doing our two home births.Ryan emphasized the point by saying, “I would do a home birth 100 times over before I would do another hospital birth.” Even if he isn’t the one doing the actual birthing, I must say, I agree with him!“I would do a home birth 100 times over before I would do another hospital birth.”
Tip #3: LISTEN TO YOUR WIFE
The greatest of Ryan’s tips for dads in delivery rooms that he hopes you will walk away with is this:“Lay your ego aside, listen to your wife. Learn as much as you possibly can, and go through the classes.”
Basically, the more prepared you both are, the better the entire birth process will go. This is coming from the husband who joined me IN the birth pool after I asked during labor. He shared afterwards that he was thinking, “I don’t want to, but how can I say no?” That’s the perspective all dads should have in delivery rooms!I remember laboring with our first, before we left for the hospital, and Ryan was in the nursery praying over our soon-to-arrive son. My birth partner was very involved in the pregnancy, labor, and postpartum process. For that I will be forever grateful!Ryan mentioned that the highlight moment for him during our first birth was “When I saw Caleb for the first time. I held him and I said, “'It’s OK, Daddy’s here.' He stopped crying, opened his eyes a little bit and he looked at me. And we looked into each other’s eyes for the first time.”
“‘It’s OK, Daddy’s here.’ He stopped crying, opened his eyes a little bit and he looked at me. And we looked into each other’s eyes for the first time.”
I just couldn't have done what I did without my husband and birth partner’s support, even to this day. Do you have a birth partner? Let’s chat about finding support for your birth!